Saturday, December 3, 2011

    Ode to Literacy, 90s Style: Big Books Got Back

    If you get this, you must have been a teen in the 90s, and you're probably a bit of a nerd now. :)

    This is what I do when I want to write, but I can't focus on my current WIP.

    I wrote this little gem around '99/2000, when blogs were still called weblogs, okay? So sue me if I can't find a suitable modern rhyme for that bit.

    For all of my students who were BORN in the 90s, here's the video that inspired this song.

    To the tune of Sir Mix A Lot's Baby Got Back:

    Big Books Got Back

    Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her book.
    It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
    one of those book agents’ girlfriends.
    But, you know, who understands those book guys? *scoff*
    They only talk to her, because,
    she looks like a total bookworm, 'kay?
    I mean, her book, is just so big.
    I can't believe it's just so thick, it's like,
    out there, I mean - gross. Look!
    She's just so ... literary!

    I like big books and I cannot lie
    You other readers can't deny
    When a ‘brarian walks by with her itty bitty cart
    Filled with thick-book-works-of-art
    You get stirred, just can’t get enough
    'Cause you know those books are stuffed
    Deep in the pages she's cartin'
    I'm hooked by what they’re impartin'
    Oh baby, I wanna read with you
    Be it Austen or Angelou
    My Book Club tried to warn me
    But that book you got’s a drug made for me
    Ooh, that smooth dust jacket
    You say you wanna get in my crit group?
    Well, read to me, read to me
    'Cause it ain't an average volume, see
    I've seen your sweet poetica
    To hell with Helvetica
    That book’s a tete a tete, you bet
    Gets discourse goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette
    I'm tired of magazines
    Sayin' weblogs are the thing
    Take the average reader and ask him that
    Books gotta pack much back
    So, readers! (Yeah!) readers! (Yeah!)
    Can your big book do the strut? (Hell yeah!)
    Tell 'em to read it! (Read it!) Read it! (Read it!)
    Read that big old text!
    Big books got back!

    - Lori Oster, AKA Queen Reads-A-Lot

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    Doc Jen said...

    This made me laugh out loud the first time I saw it and it's just as good now.

    Lori Oh said...

    Thanks, Doc Jen!
    Maybe I'll perform it at our next book club meeting. This is more likely to happen if I bring back the Jell-O shots. ;)

    Jason Runnels said...


    Mandi Tillotson Williams (Author/Illustrator) said...

    Lol, that is too cute. :o)

    Lori Oster said...

    Thank you, Jason and Mandi! It's very comforting to know I'm not alone in my love of both books and 90s pop.

    Rebecca Foote said...

    I love it! XD

    Lori Oster said...

    Thanks, Rebecca! It's good to know I'm not alone in my big book love.

    Emma said...

    Love it!

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