Ode to Literacy, 90s Style: Big Books Got Back

If you get this, you must have been a teen in the 90s, and you're probably a bit of a nerd now. :)

This is what I do when I want to write, but I can't focus on my current WIP.

I wrote this little gem around '99/2000, when blogs were still called weblogs, okay? So sue me if I can't find a suitable modern rhyme for that bit.

For all of my students who were BORN in the 90s, here's the video that inspired this song.

To the tune of Sir Mix A Lot's Baby Got Back:

Big Books Got Back

Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her book.
It is so big. *scoff* She looks like,
one of those book agents’ girlfriends.
But, you know, who understands those book guys? *scoff*
They only talk to her, because,
she looks like a total bookworm, 'kay?
I mean, her book, is just so big.
I can't believe it's just so thick, it's like,
out there, I mean - gross. Look!
She's just so ... literary!

I like big books and I cannot lie
You other readers can't deny
When a ‘brarian walks by with her itty bitty cart
Filled with thick-book-works-of-art
You get stirred, just can’t get enough
'Cause you know those books are stuffed
Deep in the pages she's cartin'
I'm hooked by what they’re impartin'
Oh baby, I wanna read with you
Be it Austen or Angelou
My Book Club tried to warn me
But that book you got’s a drug made for me
Ooh, that smooth dust jacket
You say you wanna get in my crit group?
Well, read to me, read to me
'Cause it ain't an average volume, see
I've seen your sweet poetica
To hell with Helvetica
That book’s a tete a tete, you bet
Gets discourse goin’ like a turbo ‘Vette
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' weblogs are the thing
Take the average reader and ask him that
Books gotta pack much back
So, readers! (Yeah!) readers! (Yeah!)
Can your big book do the strut? (Hell yeah!)
Tell 'em to read it! (Read it!) Read it! (Read it!)
Read that big old text!
Big books got back!

- Lori Oster, AKA Queen Reads-A-Lot

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